The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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