Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize