what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
