My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
