Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
