I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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