Please, let me fuck your mom
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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