After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
