using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
