my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
