I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
