could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
