Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
