She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize