She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize