did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
