Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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