I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
