It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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