I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
my poor anus
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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