I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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