I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it's great music for shaving your balls
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
