babies were throwing up all over the place
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
