The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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