your parents love me but you hate me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
