Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
