i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
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I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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