I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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