Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
