He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I have post one night stand depression
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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