I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
