Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
