Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
