Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
