Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I cut my penus on the lid.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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