So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
