It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
