I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize