perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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