break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
