first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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