Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize