Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
