it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
