That reminds me...we need to get swords
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
