She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
