roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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