I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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