New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
smell my finger.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just blew my weed a kiss
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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