The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
