Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
