She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
