I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
