i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
