So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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