Fuck appropriateness.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
