You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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