I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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